Thursday, November 10, 2011

Grammar Song

Just in time for the holidays, here is a song I found at the Literal Minded blog about helping verbs.



Helping verbs have their place (or they wouldn't be so popular--look, I just used two of them). In our writing, they are great starters, but because they are passive verbs, there is usually a better way to say it.

Let's look at some simple examples:

She was crying. Tighten that baby up: She cried. Or better yet, show us rather than tell us: Tears streamed down her rosy cheeks.

I am so hungry=I want to eat everything in sight.

I have to go=I went=I ran out the door to the safety of my car.

Now it's your turn. Here is a line from my current Work In Progress: He was far more fascinating than the cash register. 


Re-Write away in the comments my friends.

4 comments:

  1. Fun and helpful.
    Tight abs, bulging biceps, and light-up-the-night smile focused the female attention at the fundraiser on Horace Townsend. Sabel also appreciated the wrapping but was tantalized by the present. With his Mayflower heritage, Senate connections, ivy league polish and budding medical practice Horace ticked all the boxes on Sabel's wish list. She saw him as her very own Nordstrom cash register stuffed with crisp hundred dollar bills.

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  2. That grammar song is great. And the singer did really well not getting a tangled tongue saying all those words so fast.

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  3. from Donna G.:

    With its computerized screen flashing numbers for the customer to see and the electronic beeps, the cash register captured her attention because it was so different from the old one she had in her flower shop. Even more mesmerizing was the muscular blonde man with deep blue eyes standing behind it.

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